then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
