Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
