They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
