Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize