Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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