If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
