my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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