Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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