at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize