i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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