I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
