just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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