I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
