Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
