I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
