Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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