All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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