That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
the raccoons are back...
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