Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
