I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
