i jhust puked up my retainher.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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