the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
