with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
