Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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