i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
