i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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