I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Life is so much better after having sex.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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