The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your penis caused this!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
