Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
