Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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