I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
