Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The chlamydia really affected his face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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