Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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