i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize