just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize