Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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