Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
