Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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