So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
