apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
