OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They took my balls.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
