Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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