It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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