why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
