a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize