i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
