I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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