all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
