yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
