Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
