Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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