I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
