Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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