Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize