sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
