We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
