he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
