We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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