Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
