I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
