Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
