Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
