im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This is the high leading the old right now
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
