Pappa wants mamma naked
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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